When She Departed: The Ultimate Sacrifice
by Sophie Temrer Rimmer-Artley
Summary: The sequel to When She Arrived. THIS WILL NOT MAKE SENSE UNLESS YOU HAVE READ WHEN SHE ARRIVED! Rimmer/OC
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Here comes my sequel to When She Arrived! It's set almost three years on, when Hannah is seven going on eight. I am forgoing a prologue this time. Enjoy!**

_Jupiter Mining Corporation_

_Computer's Log_

_Ship Name: Red Dwarf_

_Location: Deep Space_

_Total Crew Members: 7_

_Holograms: 3_

_Rimmer, Arnold Judas_

_Waters, Crystal Caroline_

_Waters-Rimmer, Hannah Rebecca_

_Humans: 2_

_Lister, Dave_

_Stinson, Rebecca_

_Mechanoids: 1_

_Kryten 2X4B 523P_

_Felix Sapiens: 1_

'_The Cat'_

Crystal Caroline Waters was in the drive room, pacing the floor.

"So run that by me one more time Holly."

"Gordon Bennett, is it that difficult? I can't sustain all three of you anymore. If Hannah is to stay alive, you or Arnold must be turned off. Got it?"

"Got it." Crystal said shakily, sitting down. "I can't let him do it, Hol. I can't let Arnold risk his existence for Hannah. It'll have to be me. You can just take my data disc and send it back out into space. But for God's sake don't tell him anything about this until after I'm gone. He'll just try and get me back."

"Understood. You'll tell the others?"  
"Just Becky and Lister. I'll give them a note to pass on to Arnold, but only once I'm out of scoop range."

"I see."

"I've gotta prepare. Say goodbye to them, write my note. I'll be back in an hour, Holly."

Crystal strode out of the drive room and ran straight into Rimmer.

"Hello beautiful." he said, smiling. "I was just looking for you. The others have taken Hannah off for a trip on Starbug, won't be back for another hour or so..."

Crystal giggled, sliding her arms around his neck and kissing him.

"One second." she said, pulling back and slipping into the drive room.

"Make that two, maybe three hours Holly." she said breathlessly, dashing back out again.

* * *

"Have I told you you're incredible?" Rimmer asked Crystal.

"Only about a billion times since we met." she smiled, snuggling closer to him.

"Well, I'm telling you again. You're incredible."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"What's happening dudes?" Holly said, appearing on the screen.

"Holly! You've got all the subtlety of a marauding rhino." Rimmer said, pulling the duvet up over himself and Crystal. "What's going on?"

"The others are back, and Hannah's waiting for you both."

"Thanks Holly." Crystal sighed. "Now go away." Holly disappeared from the screen, and Rimmer and Crystal scrambled to get dressed and went to find Hannah, who was sitting in the drive room on Rebecca's knees, watching Lister do a silly dance for her.

"Hey, hey, Rimmer, look what I taught Hannah!" Lister said excitedly. "Go on cupcake."

Hannah jumped down from Rebecca's lap and walked over to Rimmer, smiling innocently with wide eyes.

"Daddy, Uncle Dave told me to call you a smeghead. What does it mean? Is it rude?"

"You little monster." Lister said.

"Yes, sweetheart, it's incredibly, incredibly rude. Which is why you must only use it when you're very, very angry with Uncle Dave, or, if you feel like you need to say it to someone else, do what Krytie does and say smeeee heeeee. OK?" Rimmer grinned.

"OK!"

"That's daddy's little angel." he said smugly, ruffling her brown curls the way he so often did. Crystal laughed.

"She takes after her father." Lister said sulkily, folding his arms.

"Come to Mummy, you beautiful girl." Crystal said, her voice shaky as she hugged Hannah close. "So gorgeous, so lovely..." she murmured softly.

"Are you OK love?" Rimmer asked Crystal.

"Yes, yes, fine." she replied distractedly. "I think I need to take a bath. Take her along to her playroom, will you, honey?" Crystal let Hannah go and flung her arms around Rimmer. "I love you."

"I love you too, darling." Rimmer said, slightly surprised, before heading out of the drive room with Hannah chattering nineteen to the dozen about her trip in Starbug.

"Goodbye..." Crystal whispered after them, a tear running down her cheek.

"What the smeg is going on, Crystal?" Rebecca asked. Crystal turned around.

"Holly can no longer sustain all three of us holograms. I'm going to give up my existence so Hannah and Arnold can stay. I want you to turn off my power supply and eject my data disc into space. And I also want you to give Arnold this envelope once I'm out of scoop range." She handed the envelope to Lister. "And don't you dare try and convince me to stay, because my mind is made up. I am leaving Red Dwarf, and I am leaving today."

"Oh Crystal!" Rebecca said, now also in tears. She flung her arms around the hard-light hologram and embraced her tightly. "Are you sure there's no other way?"

"Certain. I asked Holly. Goodbye, Becky. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, you daft old thing." Rebecca said, laughing weakly through her tears. They moved apart, and Crystal ran over and embraced Lister.

"Goodbye Listy. I never really had a chance to thank you for giving the final push that got me and Arnold together, so thanks. And don't forget, give that envelope to him only once I'm out of scoop range."

"All right. Bye then. We'll miss ya Crystal." Lister said, patting her on the back then letting her go. Crystal moved to the centre of the drive room.

"Bye Holly." she said, her voice barely a whisper now.

"See ya dude." Holly said, nodding respectfully. Crystal cleared her throat and braced herself.

"Go on, Becky. Turn me off." she said bravely.

"Bye Crystal."

And with that, Rebecca pressed the button which turned off Crystal's power supply.

"I'll eject her through waste disposal, you wait here until we're out of scoop range, then give that message to Rimmer." Rebecca said to Lister, picking up Crystal's disc.

"OK." Lister said, giving Rebecca a quick kiss as she headed out of the drive room. After a few moments, Lister saw a flash of silver moving across the starlit sky. He raised an arm, turned his hand slowly three times, then held it to his head.

"Crystal Caroline Waters." he murmured, taking his hat off with the other hand and bowing his head.

_COMPUTER'S LOG AMENDMENT_

_Holograms: 2_

_Rimmer, Arnold Judas_

_Waters-Rimmer, Hannah Rebecca_

_Total Crew Members: 6_

Rimmer was standing at the edge of the playroom, watching Hannah do some drawing. He felt a rush of pride. His daughter was so wonderful. So was his wife. He looked at his watch. Crystal would surely be still in the bath. Perhaps...

"Can you play on your own for a bit sweetheart, I need to... go and talk to Uncle Dave."

"OK!" Hannah grinned.

"There's a good girl, I won't be long." Rimmer said, slipping out of the room. Suddenly he ran into Rebecca. She looked like she'd been crying.

"Rebecca? Is everything OK?" Rimmer asked her.

"Not out of range yet... can't say anything..." she mumbled.

"Well, as soon as you decide to speak English, feel free to come find me and translate what you just said." Rimmer told her, walking off. He strolled into the drive room to find Lister staring out of the window.

"You all right Lister?" he asked.

"Is it out of scoop range, Hol?" Lister said.

"Well out, Dave."

"Thanks." Lister turned to Rimmer with a solemn face and handed him the envelope. "Crystal asked me to give you this." Rimmer tore it open and held up the message inside.

_My dearest Arnold,_

_By the time you are reading this, I will be gone. Holly no longer had enough power to sustain all three of us, so I make this sacrifice in order that you and Hannah may have a stable existence. Take good care of our daughter, and keep her safe and happy. Enclosed is her own envelope, to be given to her when she celebrates her eighth birthday tomorrow. _

_I beg you, don't be angry with Lister and Becky. They did me a great favour, and I know you'll be cross, but take it out on Kryten instead, because you can put him back together afterwards._

_I love you with all my heart, Arnold Judas Rimmer, and although I am no longer with you, I live on as long as you and Hannah love me and remember me._

_Forgive me for this, but there was no other way. I'm truly sorry that this is the way it had to be, the way it had to end._

_Goodbye. Until we meet in heaven, my love,_

_Crystal_

_xxxxxxxxxxx_

The ink on the letter began to run as a tear fell from Rimmer's eye and landed on the C in Crystal's name.

She was gone...

***Sob* Bye bye Crystal! Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: What's going to happen next? Read on and find out! Enjoy!**

"No..." Rimmer whispered, his hands shaking as he held the letter tightly. "NO!" He fell to his knees right there in the drive room, face in hands, sobs wrenching through him. How could she have left him like this? How could she leave Hannah? His true love, his wife, his entire world, had left him. She had sacrificed herself for him and Hannah. Why didn't she let him do it? Why didn't he find this out before she did and leave before she could? The letter fell from his grasp, and Lister picked it up and began to read it, making Rimmer see red.

"Give it back!" Rimmer snapped through his tears, snatching it from Lister. "How dare you try and read this without my permission! I'm going to kill you!"

"Whoa, whoa, Rimmer, chill out!" Lister said, backing away with palms raised. Rimmer moved towards him, but crumpled to the floor at the last moment and grabbed Lister by the legs, sobbing hysterically.

"I know, man. I know." Lister said, patting Rimmer on the back. Rimmer stood up and looked at Lister, giving a hollow laugh that was tinged with grief.

"How could _you _possibly know? How in the universe could you have any idea how I feel right now? I've lost her..." he trailed off, running out of the drive room. Lister watched him go, immediately feeling awful.

"I'm sorry Rimsy." Lister murmured sadly.

* * *

"Daddy?"

Rimmer heard a little voice from behind him as he lay face down in the bed he had shared with Crystal for the best part of eight years now.

"Hmm?" he said, his voice shaky with even the simplest of responses.

"Is something wrong?" Hannah asked him, putting her little hand on his shoulder. "Where's Mummy?"

Rimmer looked up, into the eyes of his daughter who looked so much like Crystal it hurt him. He concentrated on her eye colour, which mirrored his own.

"I don't know." True. "Why don't you go find Aunt Becky and ask her? Daddy's not feeling well right now, sweetie." Also true, although majorly understated.

"OK." Hannah planted a kiss on Rimmer's cheek. "Love you Daddy."

"Love you too." Rimmer replied as she scampered off. What was she going to be like tomorrow when she found out where her mother really was? Rimmer could barely bring himself to think about it. He looked up at the framed photograph on the wall, showing him and Crystal on their wedding day. He was standing behind Crystal with his arms around her waist. Even through his tear-blurred vision, Rimmer could see the blissful smiles on both their faces.

"How did I let this happen?" he whispered to himself.

* * *

In the drive room, Lister, Cat and Kryten were watching Rimmer on the black box.

"He's real bad." Cat said solemnly.

"We all are." Kryten pointed out. "Miss Crystal was one of the crew. I'll certainly miss her."

"Yeah, me too." Lister agreed. "Where's Hannah?"

"Miss Rebecca is with her, Mr. Lister sir." Kryten told him.

"That's good."

"We have to be on our guard. Any slip, any casual mention of Crystal could send Mr Rimmer deeper into depression. We need to keep our mouths shut about her if we possibly can, and not let him know that we are being secretive." Kryten said, unaware that Rimmer had just walked in behind him.

"But Kryten, are you sure he wouldn't rather we were honest with him?" Lister pointed out.

"No. We must... he's right behind me, isn't he, Mr. Lister sir?" Kryten asked.

"Yep." Lister said. Kryten turned around.

"Hello Mr. Rimmer sir, feeling any better?" Kryten asked with exaggerated brightness.

"Look. You all know how much Crystal meant to me. I'm not going to pretend I'm fine, because I'm not. But that also means that I won't be acting like she was never here. The more we push these things to the back of our minds, the more we forget them. I'm never going to forget her, which means none of you are. Are we clear?"

There was a brief silence, then Kryten spoke up.

"Absolutely Mr. Rimmer sir. If you'll excuse me, I've got laundry to do." With that he walked away.

"Yeah, we're clear." Lister agreed.

"Crystal clear!" Cat said with a grin, then his mind caught up with his voice. "Sorry pal, I didn't mean to..."

"Don't apologise, Cat." Rimmer interrupted with a small smile. "It's funny. Honest."

"Man, she was great." Lister mumbled sadly.

"Don't talk about her as if she's dead!" Rimmer snapped, his eyes getting watery again. "She's still alive. She's just out there somewhere." he said, looking out at the stars as the tears fell from his eyes. "She loves watching the stars. We used to sit here for hours just looking into deep space, wondering what lay beyond all those stars and planets. We'd talk about all the places we were going to see once Hannah was old enough." Rimmer gently reached out, as though caressing the twinkling stars as they hung in the sky. "Sometimes we'd let Hannah sit up with us, and then, when she fell asleep, Crystal would sing to her. She'd always sing _Any Dream Will Do _because it's Hannah's favourite." Rimmer gave a quiet laugh. "Once, I fell asleep too, and Crystal had to wake me up because I was lying on her arm."

Behind Rimmer, Lister exchanged a glance with Cat and nodded.

"I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain, to see for certain, what I thought I knew..." Lister sang softly.

"Far far away, someone was weeping, but the world was sleeping, any dream will do." Cat continued.

Rimmer turned and smiled at them. They got on his nerves, sure, but they were trying their best right now, which made him feel marginally better.

"I wore my coat..." he sang.

"I wore my coat..." they echoed.

"With golden lining..."

"Ahh-aah."

"Bright colours shining..."

"Ahh-ah."

"Wonderful and new, and in the East..."

"And in the East..."

"The dawn was breaking..."

"Ahh-aah."

"And the world was waking..."

"Ahh-ah."

"Any dream will do." the three of them finished together.

"Thanks Lister, Cat." Rimmer said, still smiling.

"Come here, man." Lister said, embracing the taller man and thumping him on the back. Rimmer was surprised, especially when Cat hugged him too.

"Hang in there, Goal-Post Head." Cat told him.

"I will." Rimmer replied. Lister and Cat walked out of the room, leaving Rimmer alone with his memories. "I know you don't want me to be sad." Rimmer said, as if speaking to Crystal. "But I won't forget you, Crystal Caroline Waters. I could never forget you. Look after my heart, because it will always belong to you. I love you, Crystal."

Rimmer wiped away tears he hadn't noticed he was still crying, continuing to look out at the stars.

* * *

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Hannah, happy birthday to you!"

Hannah walked into the drive room to a cheerful chorus of Happy Birthday from Rimmer, Lister, Cat, Kryten and Rebecca. She frowned.

"Where's Mummy?" Rimmer's face immediately fell. "Daddy?"

"Here. This is from Mummy." Rimmer said gently, handing her the envelope and a small wrapped package. He watched anxiously as Hannah opened the envelope first. Inside was a pink sparkly birthday card which had _To my special Birthday Princess _written on the front in big letters. Hannah opened the card, and everyone watched her expression as she read what was written inside. She looked up at Rimmer, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Is it true Daddy? Is Mummy gone?" she asked shakily. Rimmer pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. It is true." he said, rocking her in his arms as she began to cry. He kissed the top of her head and murmured soothing words to her. "Shh darling, it's all right, Daddy's here with you, Daddy's got you." Hannah looked at her dad.

"I hate Mummy! She ruined my birthday!" she said jumping off Rimmer's lap and running from the room, not even taking a second glance at the presents or cake.

"I expected this." Rimmer sighed.

"Do you want me to go after her?" Rebecca asked.

"No, I'll go. She needs to open the present from Crystal." Rimmer insisted, picking up the little present that had fallen to the floor. "I'll see if I can talk her into coming back. Give me time." Rimmer strode out of the drive room and headed after Hannah, following her footsteps and sobs towards the observation dome. Rimmer couldn't help but give a small smile. Like father, like daughter. He quietly crept over to her and crouched beside her.

"Hey munchkin." he whispered to her. She turned around.

"I don't really hate Mummy. I love her lots and lots." Hannah confessed to Rimmer.

"I know, sweetie. Do you want to see the present she got for you?" he asked her, holding out the present. Hannah took it with shaking hands.

"I'm all wobbly." she said, surprised.

"Yes, you're like a big, wobbly jelly, and if you don't open that present sharpish I shall eat you all up!" Rimmer laughed, pretending to take a bite out of her shoulder. Hannah squealed and giggled, tearing the wrapping paper off and opening the box she uncovered. She gave a little gasp. Inside the box was a silver heart locket, and when Hannah opened it she found a picture of herself with Rimmer and Crystal sitting together and smiling happily.

"It's so pretty." she said, picking it out of the box. "Can you help me put it on, Daddy?"

"Of course honey." Rimmer smiled, taking it from her and fastening it around her neck. "Now are you gonna come back and open your other presents, hmm? I bet you want some of your cake, don't you?"

Hannah's face lit up and she nodded fervently. "Come on then." he said, taking her hand and leading her back down the stairs and along to the drive room.

"Ah, Miss Hannah, come and try some birthday cake. I made it especially for you." Kryten said, holding out a plate with a huge slice of chocolate sponge cake on it. Hannah's eyes widened.

"Am I allowed such a big piece?" she asked in wonder, and everyone laughed.

"Certainly. And it's a good cake too. My birthday girl only deserves the best." Rimmer told her. Hannah picked up the cake and took a big bite, smiling widely.

"There, I told you she'd like it, Kryten." Lister said.

"Let's get this birthday party started!" Rebecca grinned. "Music please, Holly."

**A bit of a whirlwind chapter, I know, sorry! Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Here comes the next chapter! Enjoy!**

After a wonderful yet tiring birthday, Hannah R. Waters-Rimmer was sitting alone in the drive room, wondering where her mum had gone. She wished there was some way she could have said a proper goodbye, but the card had explained that there wasn't one.

"Tired, Birthday Girl?"

Hannah turned to face her dad. "Uh-huh." Rimmer smiled at his beautiful daughter.

"You look just like your mother, you know." he said softly. "Except for your eyes. Your eyes are the same colour as mine. And your hair is much curlier than hers, like mine is."

Hannah smiled back at Rimmer. "I know." Rimmer laughed quietly, reaching down and picking Hannah up.

"Ready for bed, sweetie-pie?"

"Yeah." Hannah slipped a thumb into her mouth and curled up in Rimmer's arms with her eyes closed. Rimmer sighed. He was going to have to get her to break the thumb-sucking habit soon, or she'd never stop. He carried her along the corridor and into her room, laying her down in bed and tucking the covers around her gently. Then he kissed her forehead and crept out of the room and back to his own. He looked around the room, seeing all Crystal's things; her clothes, her CD's, her photographs. Rimmer picked up the first photo and looked at it, remembering.

That was the time they had found a planetoid with not only a breathable atmosphere, but a beautiful, long, sandy beach, and the whole crew had taken a two-week holiday. In the photo, he and Crystal were standing together on the sand, wearing novelty oversized sunglasses and laughing happily. In front of them, Hannah was playing in the sand, digging a hole (which Lister had later fallen into). Rimmer smiled, and the Crystal in the picture seemed to smile back. There were two more of that holiday; one of him standing behind Crystal while she talked to Hannah, and he laughed as he remembered, seeing himself taking a bite out of the flake in the ice cream Crystal was holding, and one of him wearing Crystal's floppy sunhat and her giggling at how ridiculous he looked. Her exact words had been 'you look absurd', and then she had grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him. Rimmer sighed as he thought of how Crystal's kisses felt. He felt a tear roll down his cheek and shook himself.

"No. No crying. Not now. This is for happy memories." he told himself sternly. He put the picture down and moved on to the next one, which was a photo of him and Crystal with Hannah just after she had been born. He was cradling Hannah in his arms, who was holding onto his finger with a tiny hand, and Crystal was sitting up in her bed in the medi-bay, leaning comfortably against him and looking exhausted but happy.

"Rimmer?"

Rimmer jumped and turned around. "Oh, hello Lister."

"Looking at all the photos, eh?" Lister said, moving to stand beside him. "We had some good times, didn't we?" he smiled, picking up the one of Rimmer wearing Crystal's sunhat.

"Yes, we did." Rimmer agreed. "Hey, I'd forgotten about this one." he said, picking up another photo, this time a group one. "This was the time I had a fancy dress deathday party and Crystal and I went as Sweeney Todd and Mrs Lovett."

"Yeah, I remember! Becky and I dressed up as Tarzan and Jane." Lister said. "Hannah was Princess Aurora from Sleeping Beauty, and Cat came as Michael Jackson. He even proved he could dance the moonwalk."

"What was Kryten supposed to be again?" Rimmer said, pointing to the photo.

"Oh, he was meant to be Brains from Thunderbirds. He walks like a puppet anyway." Lister smirked.

"And Holly made himself a computer toupee and moustache and came as Adolf Hitler!" Rimmer remembered, laughing. "That was a fun evening."

"Even when Kryters started getting all teary and telling everyone he loved them?"

"That was the funniest part, especially when he tried to hug Holly and hit his head on the wall."

"Someone say my name?" Holly asked, appearing on the screen.

"Remember my deathday party? The fancy dress one?" Rimmer asked Holly.

"Sure do." Holly said. He was suddenly wearing his toupee and moustache. "Sieg Heil, dudes."

Lister and Rimmer laughed, and Holly disappeared from the screen.

"Hey, what about this one?" Lister asked. "This was when Ace Rimmer came to visit."

Rimmer wrinkled his nose. "I remember. Hannah adored him, and he was blatantly coming on to Crystal."

"She didn't even notice, man." Lister said softly.

Rimmer looked at him. "Really?" he asked.

"_Really_." Lister insisted.

"Thanks."

"Listen, Rimmer, I know ya probably wanna be alone, but I just wanted to ask... did ya wanna move back in with me? I talked it over with Becky, and she doesn't mind moving out. It's been kinda lonely all this time without the Space Corps Directives being quoted wrongly at me nonstop."

Rimmer laughed. "I appreciate the offer, Lister, but I'm not quite ready to leave this room yet. If I moved back in with you... it would feel like the past eight years never happened."

Lister nodded. "OK man, I understand. Maybe in a few months." he said, turning to leave.

"Oh, Listy?" Rimmer called. Lister whirled back around.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For being so supportive." Rimmer said with a smile.

"Don't mention it." Lister bounded out of the room. Rimmer turned to the group photograph of them in fancy dress and smiled again.

* * *

Rimmer awoke suddenly in the middle of the night to the sound of a scream, and was immediately out of bed and following the sound towards Hannah's room. He ran in to find Hannah sitting up in bed, sobbing.

"Shh honey, Daddy's here now." he murmured, pulling her into a hug. "What happened sweetheart? Did you have a bad dream?" Hannah nodded.

"Somebody was trying to take you away from me, Daddy. I was screaming at them to let you go, but they wouldn't listen to me."

"It's all right, darling, it wasn't real. I'm here, I'm fine, see? Nobody's taking me away." Rimmer reassured her, gently rocking her in his arms.

"You promise it wasn't real?" she asked with a sniff.

"I promise, sweetie." he replied, ruffling her hair and releasing her. "Just try and get back to sleep now, OK?"

"'Kay. Love you Daddy."

"I love you too Hannah." Rimmer whispered back, but his beautiful daughter was already asleep.

* * *

The next morning, as Rimmer, Lister, Cat and Hannah ate breakfast prepared by Kryten, there was an excited squeal from Rebecca, who came running into the room.

"Dave, Dave, you'll never believe it!" she gasped, running up to Lister. "I'm pregnant!"

"That's amazing!" Lister said, an enormous grin on his face as he picked Rebecca up and swung her around in a hug.

"Put me down, you idiot!" she giggled, and Lister did so with a laugh.

"It would seem congratulations are in order, Listy." Rimmer smiled, thumping Lister on the back.

"Cheers man." Lister smiled. "I'm gonna be a daddy. Isn't it fantastic?"

"Oh, just what we need. Another sprog running around the place." Cat grumbled. "Ouch!" he yelled suddenly. "Goal-Post Head, your precious daughter just kicked me!"

Rimmer looked at Hannah, who was smiling innocently. "Did you, Hannah?"

"Of course not, Daddy." she said demurely, with a conspiratorial wink at her father.

"That's all right then." Rimmer said, turning back to Lister and Rebecca, and Hannah stuck her tongue out at Cat and giggled.

"Please accept my heartiest congratulations, Mr. Lister and Miss Rebecca."

"Thank you Kryten." Rebecca said.

"Yeah, cheers Kryters." Lister added, putting an arm around Rebecca's shoulders. It was then that Rimmer noticed the faraway look in Rebecca's eyes. He instantly knew what she was thinking, and it was the same thing that he was: _Wish Crystal was here to see this._

Rimmer walked over and gave Rebecca an impromptu hug.

"Congratulations, Becky. Crystal would be so happy." he whispered.

"Thanks." she replied, and Rimmer let her go and smiled.

"Hang on a tick... Rimmer, remember the future echoes?" Lister said.

"Yes, I remember. We saw your future self with twin baby boys." Rimmer said, realisation dawning.

"Twins!" Rebecca said in amazement. "I'm having twins!"

"Oh hooray." Cat muttered mutinously, only to earn another under-the-table kick from Hannah. "Ow! What is this, Abuse The Cat Day?"

"If only it were every day." Rimmer stage-whispered.

"I heard that, Black-Hole Nostrils!" Cat retorted, and Hannah giggled again.

"That's funny cause it's true." Hannah grinned.

"You're supposed to be on my side!" Rimmer laughed. "Some daughter you turned out to be."

"Awww, I didn't mean it Daddy." Hannah said hurriedly, looking up at him with her eyes wide, those eyes that were so like his own.

"All right, you're forgiven." Rimmer smiled, ruffling her hair.

Life went on as usual...

**Don't worry, I'm not ditching the story there! I just kinda chickened out on how to end the chapter. Review please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: We're jumping on a bit again, because Hannah is now thirteen, and Lister and Rebecca's twins Jim and Bexley are now five. Enjoy!**

"Jim, stop hitting Bexley!" Hannah shouted at the squabbling twins.

"I'm Bexley, that's Jim. Can't you tell yet?" the one doing the hitting retorted.

"I don't care, just leave each other alone!"

"Only yanking your chain, I am Jim really."

"I haven't got the patience for this! I'm radioing Starbug about you two!" Hannah snapped, storming off to the drive room and pressing a button.

"Hannah to Starbug, come in Starbug, over."

"Receiving you loud and clear. Hi honey. Over."

"Hi Dad. Jim and Bexley are fighting again. Over." Hannah explained.

"All right sweetie, we're coming back." came Rimmer's reply. "Over and out."

"Over and out, Dad." Hannah smiled and went back to the sleeping quarters, where Jim and Bexley were now wrestling each other. She watched in horror as they knocked the table and the photograph of her mum Crystal fell off and smashed on the floor.

"STOP IT!" she yelled, grabbing their collars and hauling them to their feet. "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU BROKE THE PHOTO! I HATE YOU BOTH!" she screamed, scooping up the photo and the broken glass before running out in tears. Jim and Bexley looked at each other in bewilderment.

"We've done it this time." Jim said.

"I think you're right." Bexley agreed. Just then, Holly appeared on the screen.

"Starbug's back." he announced before disappearing again.

"Come on, we'd better apologise to them now." Bexley said, always the more sensible and repentant twin.

"Yeah." was Jim's only reply as they set off. When they reached the cargo bay, Jim ran to Lister and Bexley ran to Rebecca.

"Mum, Dad, we're really really sorry." they said in unison.

"What's happened?" Rebecca asked.

"We broke the photo that Hannah keeps in her room. The one of the pretty lady. We didn't mean to, Mum, honest." Bexley explained.

"We made her cry and I feel really bad. She ran off and we don't know where to." Jim added.

"I bet I know. I'll find her." Rimmer said, heading off.

"I'm staying outta this one!" Cat said, walking away too.

"I'd love to stay, but, you know, laundry to do..." Kryten excused himself and followed Cat and Rimmer out of the cargo bay.

"Boys, we understand you did it by accident, but do you know why that photo was so special?" Lister asked them. They shook their heads in sync. "That was a photo of Hannah's mum, your Auntie Crystal. She had to leave a few years ago, before you were born."

"She had a H on her head like Uncle Arnold and Hannah. Was she a hologram too?" Bexley asked.

"Yes. She was also my best friend and your Uncle Arnold loved her very much." Rebecca told them. "He's probably more upset about it than he's letting on."

"We really are very sorry, Mum." Jim said, hanging his head. Bexley copied his stance.

"It's not us who you should be apologising to." Lister said. "It's Hannah and Uncle Arnold. Come on, let's go inside." The twins turned and walked away, followed by their parents.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the observation dome, a distraught Hannah was being comforted by Rimmer.

"I didn't mean to get so angry with them, Dad, but they broke it, and I just got really mad." she sniffed.

"I'm sure we can fix it, darling." Rimmer told her, pulling her into his arms and giving her a hug. "The boys were really upset about it. I left Uncle Dave and Aunt Becky to explain why it was so special to you."

"I'm no good at babysitting, Dad. Can't the three of us come with you on Starbug when you need to go?"

"I'd be happy for _you_ to come, but I wouldn't have Jim and Bexley on Starbug yet. I'd ask Kryten to stay behind, but we need him for the technical stuff."

"The Cat wouldn't last five seconds with those two." Hannah giggled.

Rimmer laughed with her. "You're right. Which really only leaves Uncle Dave or Aunt Becky."

"Don't worry Dad. We'll work out a rota so nobody has to do it all the time." Hannah said.

"Come on, let's go and find the others." Rimmer smiled, and father and daughter left the observation dome hand-in-hand.

* * *

When Rimmer and Hannah reached the drive room, Jim and Bexley ran at Hannah and hugged her furiously.

"We're really really sorry we broke your photo Hannah." they both said together. Hannah patted them both on the head.

"It's all right, boys. I forgive you. I didn't mean to shout at you like that." she told them. They let her go and scurried back to Lister and Rebecca.

"Crew meeting. Now." Rimmer said.

"Sir, are you sure? It does mean I have to sound the gong, which is all the way on G Deck." Kryten pointed out.

"Forget the smegging gong, _Krytie_, we're all here anyway." Rimmer sighed, making Hannah giggle.

"Oh, so we are sir, my mistake." Kryten said, doing a head count.

"Right. We need to work out better arrangements for the kids while we're out on Starbug." Rimmer said bluntly.

"Hey! I'm not a kid anymore, I'm thirteen!" Hannah protested.

"Sorry sweetie." Rimmer apologised. "Hannah has told me she'd rather come with us on Starbug, but I don't really think Jim and Bexley are old enough yet."

"Aw, we'd be good, honest!" Bexley complained.

"Please can we come with you?" Jim whined.

The two of them looked up at the surrounding adults, mechanoid, cat and teenager with wide, pleading eyes.

Kryten was the first to crack. "Those innocent eyes get me every time." he sniffed. "I don't see why we can't bring them with us, sirs and ma'ams."

"They really wouldn't be _that _much trouble, Rimmer." Lister said.

"You can't be serious, Uncle Dave! Look at what they did when you left them here with me, you gimp!" Hannah ranted.

"Smegging hell, ya sound just like Rimmer." Lister sighed.

"Like father, like daughter." Rimmer chuckled, raising a hand for a high five. Hannah slapped it, laughing.

"I really don't think they could do much damage to Starbug, it's practically the space-travel equivalent of a Reliant Robin anyway." Kryten pointed out.

"What was that?" Hannah suddenly said, looking around in surprise.

"What was what?" Rimmer asked her.

"I could have sworn I heard laughter..." she started. "...but I must have imagined it."

"Are you all right sweetie?" Rebecca asked her.

"Fine." Hannah insisted.

"Well... All right, Jim and Bexley can come with us on Starbug as well as Hannah." Rimmer finally said.

"Yay!" the twins chorused.

"Now I know I heard something just then!" Hannah gasped. "Music... almost like a theme tune."

"I think you need to go lie down honey. You're obviously not feeling well." Rebecca said gently.

"No, she's right, I can hear it too." Rimmer said, surprised. "Can't you?" he asked the others. Everyone listened hard, and suddenly the music filled the room.

_It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere_

_I'm all alone, more or less_

_Let me fly far away from here_

_Fun, fun, fun_

_In the sun, sun, sun_

_I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose_

_Drinking fresh mango juice_

_Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes_

_Fun, fun, fun_

_In the sun, sun, sun_

_Fun, fun, fun_

_In the sun, sun, sun_

"What the smeg...?" Lister murmured. "This is too weird for words."

"I heard more laughter, I swear!" Hannah exclaimed.

"I heard it this time too." Rimmer said, confused.

"Right, get the bazookoids ready, let's go find whatever this thing is." Lister said.

"Can I have a bazookoid, dad?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, can I have one too?" Bexley chipped in.

"Absolutely not!" Lister said. "You'll give your mother a heart attack."

"Owwh!" they chorused sadly.

"May I have one Dad?" Hannah shyly asked Rimmer.

"I think you're old enough, go on then." Rimmer said.

Hannah's face lit up. "All right!" she grinned, grabbing one from the floor. When all the crew but Jim and Bexley were armed, they moved off down the corridors of Red Dwarf, searching for whatever was making strange noises. As they walked past a screen, Rimmer stopped in his tracks.

"Look at this." he said, pointing at the display on the screen. It showed an audience of people staring intently back at them. He tapped the glass, and they laughed. Rimmer jumped back in shock, making them laugh harder.

"What the heck?" Rimmer gasped.

"Hmm. Curious." Kryten said, running the psi-scan over the screen. "According to the psi-scan, this is an television studio audience from some time in the 21st century."

"And what television programme is being filmed?" Hannah asked.  
"Well, the psi-scan says it's a show called 'Red Dwarf', Miss Hannah."

"Red Dwarf? But that's..."

"Us? Yes, that's what it seems. The character list shows up as Arnold Rimmer, David Lister, The Cat, Kryten 2X4B 523P, Rebecca Stinson, Hannah Waters-Rimmer and Jim and Bexley Stinson-Lister."

"Oh my god..." Rimmer said. "We're television characters."

"But how?" Jim asked. Bexley looked just as confused.

"Well it's quite simple." said an unfamiliar disembodied male voice.

"Aaargh! Is that you, God?" Lister wailed. The audience on the screen laughed exceptionally loudly.

"Shut up, Dave, I'm not God!" the voice said impatiently.

"Nor am I." said a second male voice, a little more timidly.

"Nor me." added a third voice, but this one was female.

"Then do you mind if I ask who the hell you actually _are_?" Rimmer said.

"I'm Rob Grant." the first male voice said.

"I'm Doug Naylor." the second male voice added.

"And I'm Sophie Whitlock-Stark-Rimmer, but you can just call me Sophie." the female voice chimed in.

"So what does that mean?" Lister asked.

"They're our creators, sir." Kryten replied.

**Ooooh cliffhanger! Review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry for leaving it there! Here goes with the next instalment! WARNING: M RATED CONTENT! Enjoy!**

"Wait, creators?" Rebecca said. "You invented us?"

"Well, Rob and Doug here invented Listy, Rimsy, Cat and Kryters, and I invented you, Jim, Bexley, Hannah and of course, Crystal." Sophie explained.

"Crystal?" Rimmer said, stifling a sob. "You invented her and then took her away from me? How could you?" he snarled. "Where the hell are you? I'm going to kill you!"

"You can't kill me. She'll never have existed if you do." Sophie sing-songed.

"She is right, Mr. Rimmer sir, killing her won't bring Miss Crystal back." Kryten reasoned with him.

"You mustn't do that to Mum." Hannah pleaded. Rimmer sighed, leaning against the wall and slumping to the floor. Hannah turned her face upwards, her eyes flashing with anger.

"How could you do this to him?" she shouted. "Look at him! Is that what you wanted? You wanted to make him into a useless wreck, did you? Well, you've managed it! Are you happy now?" Tears fell from Hannah's eyes as she finished.

"No, I'm not. Not yet." was Sophie's reply.

"How can you possibly not be satisfied?" Rebecca yelled. "You're sick and twisted!"

"Well, let me explain. I am part of a website called '' where fans of already existing TV shows, books, movies etc can post their own take on the storyline and make their own stories using the characters. My story was about Rimmer and Crystal's relationship, and when the story ended I felt empty and hollow, purely because I wanted so badly to become Crystal. I wanted to be the one Arnold loved. So this story is about how I get rid of Crystal by cleverly adjusting my plot and then swooping in and stealing Arnold away. Sorry to bust your happy family bubble, chaps, but I've already removed Crystal from the picture, and now it's time for part two of my devious plan."

"Son of a spin dryer!" Kryten exclaimed. Jim and Bexley looked at each other and giggled nervously.

"Can't you stop her, Rob?" Doug pleaded. "She's gone mad."

"It's not my problem, Doug!" Rob snapped. "You stop her if you damned well have to."

"Sophie, please, don't do this. Your story was going so well, it had so many wonderful reviews from other authors..." Doug began.

"No! This is _my_ story!" Sophie shouted, and suddenly a figure appeared in front of the Dwarfers. She looked very similar to Crystal, and Rimmer gasped.

"Surprised, Arnie?" she laughed. "Yes, I look like Crystal. That's because, at first, I _was _Crystal, and Crystal was me. We were one and the same. But as I wrote, she developed a mind of her own, she became detached from me. We weren't identical anymore. She was prettier, funnier, better, and I grew jealous. Isn't that crazy? I was jealous of a figment of my imagination." Here she paused to giggle, and Rimmer continued to look at her in disbelief. "But now she's gone... and you're _mine_."

With that Sophie grabbed him by the arm and clicked her fingers, making the two of them disappear.

"DAD! NO!" Hannah screamed, sobbing as she fell into Rebecca's arms. "How could she?"

"You're psychotic, Sophie Whitlock-Stark-Rimmer!" Lister shouted. All they heard in response was a disembodied giggle.

"I'm so sorry." said the voice of Doug Naylor.

"I'm not. Maybe now she'll stop whining at us to write her into the original Red Dwarf." Rob Grant butted in.

"Oh shut up! You're being so smeggy!" Doug yelled. "Why don't you just leave? You're not helping at all!"

"Well maybe I will! Maybe I quit! So long, smeghead!" Rob shot back, and then there was a long silence.

"Oh, he's really gone." Doug said. "I thought he was bluffing."

"Look, Mr. Naylor sir, can you help us get Mr. Rimmer back?" Kryten said, being the only one not trying to comfort the weeping Hannah.

"I can certainly try, but there's no knowing what Sophie's planning. She's been wrong in the head ever since she started watching Red Dwarf. Her obsession with Rimmer has driven away three boyfriends in as many months. She's only sixteen you know. It's unnatural is what it is."

"In that case, it's not that difficult to guess what she wants to do with Rimmer." Lister piped up.

"Point taken." Doug agreed. "Hold up a sec, I'll materialise for you."

A few seconds later, a man appeared in the corridor. He walked over to the huddle of people around Hannah and put a gentle hand on Hannah's shoulder.

"It's all right. We're gonna get your Daddy back." Doug said softly. Hannah looked up.

"Thank you." she whispered, her throat sore from crying.

* * *

_Meanwhile, somewhere unknown..._

"What are you doing? Stop it!" Rimmer protested as Sophie tied his wrists to the bedpost. "I'll scream." he threatened.

Sophie just laughed. "Scream all you like, baby. No-one's around to hear you. It's just you and me."

"Wh-what are you going to do to me?" Rimmer said nervously.

"I'm going to do all the things you did with Crystal." Sophie said, biting her lip seductively. "Because it should have been me, and now it can be me."

"What makes you think I'd let you?" Rimmer asked, trying to sound authoritative.

Sophie giggled. "Because if you don't, something very, very nasty might happen to poor lickle Hannah. You wouldn't want your precious daughter to get sucked out of an airlock, would you? And that's not the worst I could do..."

"All right! Shut up!" Rimmer shouted, tears glistening in his eyes as he thought of Hannah. "I'll do it."

"Good." Sophie purred. She began to unbutton Rimmer's shirt, leaving soft kisses over his torso and running her tongue over his nipples. Rimmer bit his lip to keep back the moan that was threatening to escape.

He would not be seen to enjoy this. It was wrong.

It was almost funny, he thought, that there was a time when he would have given anything to have a girl throw herself at him like this. But not now. Not when he was in love with Crystal. And not just in love with her, but still married to her! They had a daughter together for God's sake! Did Sophie not care? Stupid question, Rimmer thought.

By now Sophie had removed Rimmer's trousers, and was now pulling his boxers down. They soon joined his other clothes on the floor. To Rimmer's horror, he was rather painfully erect, and he closed his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Crystal." he whispered to himself, bringing her face into his mind. This wasn't Sophie, he imagined. It was Crystal. She'd come back for him. Poor Rimmer was so involved in imagining Crystal that as he felt Sophie take him into her mouth, he didn't realise what he was saying until it was far too late.

"Ohh Crystal..." he moaned. He suddenly felt a glancing blow strike the left side of his face, and cried out, opening his eyes to see Sophie with a cricket bat in her hands.

"Say it again. Say _her_ name again." she said with an evil glint in her eyes as she released his wrists. Rimmer was disorientated from the blow, and her threat didn't quite register in his mind.

"Crystal?" he said, and yelled in pain as she struck the right side of his face this time.

"You were supposed to be mine!" she screamed. "You were supposed to forget about her!" Sophie hit him several more times with the cricket bat, knocking him to the floor. Barely conscious now, Rimmer just saw Sophie pick up a knife from the table. He closed his eyes, seeing Hannah's face in his mind's eye.

"I'm sorry Hannah. I love you." he whispered, then a searing pain shot through his side and he blacked out.

Back on Red Dwarf, the crew and Doug Naylor were about to transfer to the writers world.

"Are you sure this will work, Mr. Naylor sir?" Kryten asked.

"Of course. As long as we all stay hand-in-hand and don't break the chain while travelling, you'll all be transported back with me. Good luck all."

Doug clicked his fingers with his free hand, and suddenly the Dwarfers and Doug were in a darkened room with a bed and a table. There were two figures, one on the floor and the other standing over them.

"Dad! Where are you Dad?" Hannah shouted. The standing figure turned around, and they realised it was Sophie.

"Daddy can't hear you, precious. He's taking an enforced nap." Sophie smirked.

"I HATE YOU!" Hannah screamed, starting to run for Sophie, but Doug caught her by the arm.

"Don't do it, Hannah. She's got a knife." he told her firmly. Hannah slumped to the floor and began to cry. "Look at her. Look at Hannah, Sophie." Doug said calmly. Sophie did so, coldly and uncaringly.

"OK, I'm looking at her right now. What do you want?" Sophie sneered.

"I want you to imagine that it was you in that position. She's lost her mother already because an unknown stranger had a vendetta against her. Can you really bring yourself to take her father away from her too? Look into your heart, if you even have one."

Sophie began to shake uncontrollably, and she dropped the knife. Lister and Cat seized their chance and grabbed her by the arms, while Kryten, Rebecca and Doug ran to Rimmer and Jim and Bexley did their best to comfort Hannah.

"He's sustained severe head injuries and he's been stabbed in his left side. We need to get him urgent medical attention." Kryten said.

"Hang on a second." Doug said. He walked over to the table and tapped something into the typewriter. Suddenly the door swung open and in swaggered a familiar figure with floppy blond hair.

"Ace!" Lister said. "How the smeg did you get here?"

"Hey Skipper. Doug just wrote me into the story." Ace explained. "Seems old Arnie needs a bit of a stitch up here and there."

"That's cool!" Lister grinned. "Hey Doug, can you write me some handcuffs to tie El Psycho here up with?"

"Sure thing Dave." Doug said, and with a few more clicks of the typewriter, Lister was holding a pair of handcuffs.

"Cheers man." Lister said as he cuffed Sophie to the leg of the table before heading over to help Ace and Kryten lift Rimmer and lay him down on the bed. Hannah looked up and saw Ace.

"Uncle Ace!" she smiled.

"Hey there, chickadee." Ace grinned winningly at her. "I'd love to catch up, but right now I need to make sure your daddy's gonna be all right."

"Thanks." Hannah said with a sigh of relief.

"Right, Kryters, I'm gonna need quite a few medical supplies. Do you think you and Doug could zap back to the Small Rouge One and grab all you can from the medical unit?" Ace said.

"Certainly." Kryten said, and as he and Doug grabbed hold of each other and disappeared, everyone distinctly heard Doug utter the phrase he had so lovingly co-invented.

"What a guy."

**Hope you likey! Sorry it got so dark! Oh and by the way, I'm not really THAT obsessed with Rimmer, because I do have a boyfriend who is truly lovely to me, but Chris Barrie when he was younger was just... yum. Especially in those scenes when he was just in that white t-shirt and boxers... -drools-**

**Sorry, easily distracted. Review please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Here goes, next chappie! Enjoy!**

"Rimmer... Rimmer..."

Rimmer's eyes fluttered open, and the first thing he saw was Lister's face.

"Huh? Listy?"

"He's awake! He's awake, everyone!" Lister shouted, and Hannah was in the room in a flash.

"Daddy!" she gasped, flinging her arms around his neck. Rimmer smiled as she snuggled up to his good side.

"Hey sweetheart." he said softly, ruffling her hair with a supreme effort on his part.

"Good to see you're awake Arn." came Ace's American-esque twang.

"Ace saved you, Dad. He was amazing." Hannah said. Rimmer looked up at that identical face.

"Thanks Ace. I couldn't bear it if my little girl lost both her parents." Rimmer said wholeheartedly.

"I meant to ask about that, what did happen to that beautiful wife of yours?" Ace asked.

"It's a bit of a sensitive topic right now Ace." Lister said as Rimmer's eyes began to tear up.

"Whoops. Sorry Arnie. Thanks for telling me Davey-boy." Ace said hurriedly.

"Mr. Rimmer sir, you've sustained quite a few bruises to your face, and you have a large gash down the left side of your body, which Mr. Ace has stitched up marvellously I might add, but you'll be mighty sore for a few more days." Kryten explained.

"How long have I been out?" Rimmer asked.

"Only a few hours." Rebecca said. "You gave us quite a scare though."

"We didn't think you'd make it, Goal-Post Head." Cat added.

"And what happened to... _her_?" Rimmer managed to force out.

"Carted off to the funny farm." answered the warm, friendly voice of Doug Naylor.

"Weren't you one of the disembodied voices?" Rimmer asked Doug.

"I was. I materialised to help this lot get you back." was the creator's reply.

"Thank you, Doug, was it?" Rimmer said. Doug nodded.

"You might want this." Doug said, handing Rimmer a small object. "It's _her _memory stick. I thought you might all like to see what else she'd written about you lot. It might give you a few laughs."

"Thanks." Rimmer said. Doug turned to the others.

"I'd better be going now. Sophie's story won't write itself a happy ending, and that job now falls to me." Doug nodded his head. "Goodbye everyone."

"Bye Doug." everyone chorused as he disappeared.

"I oughta be making tracks too, chaps. Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast." Ace smiled, hugging Hannah quickly, patting Rimmer on the shoulder and giving Lister a high-five before leaving the room to head for the cargo bay.

"Mr. Rimmer needs to rest. I suggest all but Miss Hannah leave now." Kryten said authoritatively, and everyone turned and left.

"Daddy?" Hannah said softly after a moment of silence.

"Yes Hannah?"

"I'm so glad you're OK."

"So am I, sweetie. So am I." Rimmer smiled, pulling his daughter closer as if someone might try and separate them again.

And he was never going to let that happen again...

* * *

A few months later, Rimmer was fully recovered and the crew were on a supplies search on Starbug, when suddenly Kryten noticed something out of the windows.

"Sirs and ma'ams, there's something up ahead!"

"There's nothing on the scanners." Rimmer said.

"I'm not getting anything either." Lister added.

"Are you sure, Kryten?" Rebecca asked.

"Yes, ma'am. Look for yourself." Kryten insisted. Rebecca peered out of the window.

"I think you're right, Kryten, there is something out there." she said.

"What's up?" Hannah piped up as she wandered into the cockpit.

"We can see something out there, but it's not showing up on the scanners." Rimmer told his daughter.

Suddenly a shimmering thing flew in through the closed window and out of the cockpit into the midsection.

"It's beautiful!" Hannah said, amazed.

"It's fantastic!" Rimmer agreed. The two of them moved closer to it, only for it to disappear out of the window again. Out of nowhere another ship appeared outside, and then with a tiny 'pop' sound, Rimmer disappeared.

"Dad?" Hannah asked in confusion.

"They've taken Mr. Rimmer. Sir, they've taken Mr. Rimmer!" Kryten said to Lister.

"Quick, let's get outta here, before they bring him back!" Cat said, earning himself a smack upside the head from Hannah.

"Where the smeg did that ship come from?" Lister asked. "It wasn't there a couple of seconds ago. And what do they want with Rimmer?"

"Ah. I think it's a holo-ship." Kryten said.

"A holo-_what_?" Lister repeated.

"A ship composed entirely of lights, and a crew comprised of the hologrammatic cream of the Space Corps." Kryten explained.

"So that explains why there was nothing on the scanners." Rebecca said.

"Someone's beaming on board!" came Holly's voice.

"A hologram?" Hannah asked. Holly nodded. "Hol, hide my H until I cough, would you?"

"Sure thing Hannah." Holly said, and Hannah's H disappeared.

"Is there any way you can mess with my DNA readouts to make them human?" Hannah said.

"I'll certainly try." Holly said.

A smartly dressed man appeared in the midsection, sending Jim and Bexley running for cover behind Lister and Rebecca. He spoke into a sleek white box which was obviously a walkie-talkie.

"Binks to Enlightenment. Have boarded the derelict, confirm initial suspicions, there is nothing of value on board. It's one of the old Class 2 ship-to-surface vessels, in fact the same model that was withdrawn from production due to major flight design flaws. Crew, seven."

The man walked over to Kryten. "One series 4000 mechanoid, almost burnt out, give it maybe three years. Nothing of salvageable value." He moved on to Cat. "One felix sapiens, bred from the domestic house cat and about half as smart. No further study of this creature required."

He did a mini double-take at Lister, Rebecca, Jim, Bexley and Hannah. "What have we here? A family of human beings, or close approximations. Two in mid-twenties, one in teen years, and twin boys aged around five or six. Are of no particular interest, otherwise would recommend them for the museum – "

Lister had subtly passed his cigarette box to Hannah, and she pulled one a little way up from the box.

"Waters-Rimmer to Red Dwarf. We have in our midst a complete smegpot!" Jim and Bexley exchanged glances and sniggered. "Brains in the anal region, chin missing presumed absent, genitalia small and inoffensive, of no great value."

"Binks to Enlightenment. The human teenager shows evidence of basic humour. Has knowledge of irony, satire and imitation, with persistent training could master simple tasks." the man said.

"Waters-Rimmer to Red Dwarf. Intruder shows evidence of cruisin' for a bruisin'!" Hannah drawled in a mock-American accent. "Seems unable to understand blatant threats, with careful pummelling could be sucking tomorrow's lunch through a straw!"

"Binks to Enlightenment. The human teenager seems to believe she is able to bestow physical harm to a hologram – "

Hannah coughed pointedly, and her H reappeared. "Waters-Rimmer to Red Dwarf. The intruder seems to be blissfully unaware that I am in fact a hologram, with every ability of bestowing physical harm upon his person, and unless he wants his backside minced into burger meat, he'd better be history in two seconds flat!" Hannah handed Lister's cigarettes back to him and rolled up her sleeves.

"Binks to Enlightenment, recon mission complete, transmit. With speed, Enlightenment, quickly please!"

Hannah took a swing at the man just as he disappeared. Everyone burst out laughing.

"Nice one Hannah!" Lister grinned, giving her a high-five. Her eyes were alight with excitement.

"That was so much fun!" she giggled.

"I don't know why we ever left you on Red Dwarf, girl!" Cat said.

Jim and Bexley each grabbed one of Hannah's legs, laughing with glee.

"Now what do we do about Rimmer?" Lister said, looking out at the holo-ship.

"I could go aboard! I'm a hologram, they'll let me!" Hannah suggested.

"Well, I don't know what your dad would say to that..." Rebecca began, but when Hannah's smile faltered, she relented. "Go on then sweetie."

"Yay!" She smiled before striding into the cockpit and opening comms channels. "This is hologrammatic life form Hannah Waters-Rimmer, requesting transmission to your ship."

She disappeared with a 'pop'.

"Good luck Hannah." Jim and Bexley chorused.

**I wonder if you can see where this is going? Review please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Erm, I don't know quite what to say here, so just read and, as usual, enjoy!**

Rimmer looked around where he had been transported to. It was another ship, quite exquisite from what he could see of the room he was in.

"I hope we didn't startle you." a voice said from behind him. He turned around to be greeted by a woman with a H on her forehead, a hologram too. "Arnold Rimmer? Arnold Judas Rimmer?" she asked, surprised.

"Do I know you?" he said with a frown.

"How can I tell, how can I be sure it's him before I tell her?" the woman murmured. "I know!" she exclaimed suddenly. "This sounds like a bizarre request, but, salute me."

"What?"

"I can't explain, just salute me now, the way you would salute anyone else."

Rimmer raised his arm, turned his hand three times, then held it to his head. The woman squealed.

"I knew it! I knew it was you! Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back!" she said, running out of the room again.

"What's going on? Who are you?" Rimmer called after her, but she was gone. "Smeg."

* * *

"I'm telling you, it's him! It's your husband, Arnold Judas Rimmer!"

"I don't believe you, Commander Crane." Crystal said, her arms folded defiantly.

"Oh please, just trust me, it's him! I asked him to salute and he did what you do!"

"What, this?" Crystal said, copying Rimmer's earlier salute.

"Yes, exactly that!" Nirvanah Crane insisted.

"And does he have a scar on his face around about there?" Crystal asked, pointing. Nirvanah nodded fervently. "Then it really _is_ him! Oh my God, I have to go and see him! Take me to where he is!"

"That's what I've been trying to do for five minutes now!" Nirvanah sighed. "Come on then."

The two holograms got up and hurried out of the room.

* * *

Meanwhile, Rimmer had sat down on a sofa in the middle of the room and was waiting impatiently for that crazy woman to come back.

"See, see! I told you! Didn't I tell you?" Rimmer heard the woman say, obviously talking to someone else. Then another voice spoke which made his hologrammatic heart skip a beat.

"Arnold?"

Rimmer slowly turned around.

Same short brown hair, same blue eyes, same _person_.

It was her.

It was _her_!

"Crystal?"

In a flash Crystal was in his arms, and they hugged tightly. Over Crystal's head, Rimmer saw the other woman wink at him before walking away.

"I don't believe it! I don't smegging believe it! It's you, it's really you!" Crystal said, sobbing with joy.

"I can barely believe it's you, darling!" he whispered, stroking her hair. "Don't cry." he laughed softly.

"I'm sorry, it's just, I've missed you like crazy!" Crystal told him, pulling back to look at him. "You look wonderful."

"So do you." Rimmer smiled. "And I've missed you too. So, so much."

"How's Hannah?" Crystal asked.

"She's very well. Grown into quite the little space adventurer since you've been gone."

They both laughed, then fell silent, looking at each other.

"Arnold, I..." Crystal began, but was cut off as Rimmer crashed his lips to hers passionately. Crystal moaned, running her fingers through Rimmer's hair. After a few moments, they pulled back, flushed and gasping for breath. "I was trying to tell you something, you smegpot." Crystal giggled. "I was trying to say I'm sorry, because I am. I'm so sorry I left. When they first picked me up here, switched me on, I burst into tears, and they had no idea why. Later that evening, they told me that love was an 'outmoded concept' for them, and that I had to get over you and start being more like the other women."

"Which is?"

"Willing to have sex with whoever asks, whenever they ask. I refused, of course. In fact, I told them where they could shove their outmoded concepts." This made Rimmer laugh. "They put me in quarters by myself, which I was fine with, because it meant I could fall asleep imagining I was next to you. Nirvanah Crane, she's the woman you just met, she's almost like a Lister to the part of me that is you. She's not a slob, far from it, but she thinks I'm weird because I'm in love. I'm an outcast here. They don't need me. But I stay, if only for the fact that when I'm existing, I'm remembering you."

"Then come back." Rimmer whispered. "We can figure out a way to bring the power supply that generates you back to Red Dwarf and install it. Kryten could do it easily, I'm sure."

"If Kryten can do it, then I'll come back, of course I'll come back." Crystal said. "But what if he can't?"

"We'll work something out. Just please, come back. I can't lose you again."

"I will, I'll come back." Crystal smiled. "But first, I want you to come with me." She took him by the hand and led him into the elevator.

"Where are we going?" Rimmer asked.

"Floor 3125." Crystal replied.

"What happens there?"

"You'll find out."

The soothing elevator voice chimed in.

"_Floor 3125, Sports and Sexual Recreation."_

"You." Rimmer grinned, pulling her into his arms and kissing her.

"Me what?" Crystal said innocently when they broke apart.  
"You... you are going to regret this. You're going to be extremely, ecstatically, orgasmically sorry you brought me here. Your throat is going to be sore from the screaming. You're about to forget your own name." Rimmer's voice was a low growl, and Crystal bit her lip and moaned as they moved out of the elevator and into the nearest room, collapsing onto the bed.

* * *

A few hours later, the much more satisfied couple were heading towards the control room on the holo-ship.

"Wait here." Crystal said to Rimmer, and she walked in, had a brief conversation with the captain, and then came back out again.

"They can do it. We can install an upgrade program on Red Dwarf which allows us to sustain up to six holograms. They don't have anything smaller, but..."

"It doesn't matter." Rimmer cut her off. "Let's take it. Hannah will be over the moon."

"Did you say Hannah?" Nirvanah Crane said, stopping as she walked past them.

"Yes. Why?"

"Well, a hologram named Hannah Waters-Rimmer was just given permission to board this ship." Nirvanah told them. "Does that mean she's your daughter?"

"She's here!" Crystal exclaimed. "Where?"

"Last I knew, in the botanical gardens."

"Let's go!" Crystal grabbed Rimmer by the arm and the two of them sped off and into the lift. After an agonising wait and a journey of twenty-six floors with KC and the Sunshine Band's That's The Way I Like It playing on a perpetual loop, they burst out of the elevator and into the gardens. Just a little way ahead of them, Hannah was standing with her back to them, with a bird on her shoulder and a squirrel at her feet, looking up at her intently.

"Hannah?" Crystal whispered, and she turned around to face them. The bird flew off and the squirrel scampered away.

"Mum?"

The pair ran into each other's arms and hugged furiously, and they both started to cry. Rimmer joined them and put his arms around both of them.

His family. His whole world.

* * *

Back on Starbug, Lister was pacing the floor, and Jim and Bexley were mimicking him like two miniature Lister-clones. Suddenly there was a 'pop' and Rimmer and Hannah reappeared, and standing with them was someone they hadn't seen in five years.

"Crystal!" Rebecca squealed, flinging herself at her best friend and walking straight through her.

"Whoops, sorry, I'm still in soft-light mode." Crystal giggled, and she changed back to hard-light, as did Rimmer and Hannah, and Rebecca tried again, hugging Crystal tightly.

"Is it really you?" Rebecca asked.

"Of course it's me, you numpty!" Crystal said. "Oh, I've missed you all so much!" Then Crystal noticed Jim and Bexley. "Rebecca! You had twins!" she exclaimed. "And they're so sweet! They look just like their father!"

"Hey Bexley, is that our Auntie Crystal?" Jim asked.

"Course she is Jim, she's the pretty lady from Hannah's photo." Bexley told his twin impatiently. Jim looked embarrassed. Crystal moved over and swept them both into a hug.

"They're adorable! Congratulations, both of you." Crystal said to Rebecca and Lister. Then she straightened up and moved over to Kryten and Cat. "Gimme a hug, you two!" she said, flinging one arm around Cat's neck and the other around Kryten's. The two of them returned her hugs just as enthusiastically.

"Holly?" Crystal called.

"Gordon Bennett, it's you Crystal." Holly said. "How are you?"

"Fantastic, thanks Hol. Can you get us back to Red Dwarf pronto? I need to install some software that will upgrade your hologram projection. You'll be able to power all three of us."

"You're staying!" Rebecca said, hugging Crystal again. Crystal laughed, shaking Rebecca off.

"Sure I am! And I'll tell you one thing, it's so smegging good to be back where I belong!"

Rimmer slid his arms around her waist. "And it's so smegging good to _have_ you back, honey."

The reunited couple kissed, and everyone else cheered.

Now life was well and truly back the way it should be...

**YAY! I've finally brought her back! Final chapter coming up soon. Review please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Here comes my last chapter! We've now moved on 3 years. Enjoy!**

As Rimmer stood in the observation dome, he reflected on the past few years. Hannah was now sweet sixteen and as beautiful as her mother, and a vital member of the crew. Her wide innocent eyes could get them anything, so it was very handy to have her along on supply search missions. The twins were now eight, and although they were still very close, they were beginning to develop their own personalities. Jim was the exact double of Lister, messy and lazy, whereas Bexley was the tidier of the two, cleaning up after his twin almost as diligently as Kryten, and the youngster often aided the mechanoid in doing the laundry. Jim had also developed his father's taste for curry, curry and more curry, but Bexley preferred to keep his diet varied like his mother did. Sometimes Rimmer wondered if the two boys would change so drastically they would no longer look the same, but apart from Jim being a little taller because he was the older twin, they were still identical. Luckily it was now much easier to tell them apart because one would be following Kryten or Rebecca and the other would be following Lister.

"Arnold?" came a voice from behind him. Rimmer turned around and was greeted with the sight of Crystal. She was smiling sweetly, and Rimmer immediately wondered if she had some good news.

"What's happened?" he asked.

"What gave me away?" Crystal grinned, walking over and standing beside him.

"The fact that you're smiling like a fool." Rimmer laughed, kissing her cheek and putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Darn." she said.

"Come on, what is it you're so happy about?" Rimmer asked.

"You remember how, since I came back, when we've made love we've tried to make sure we use protection? You said when it came to more kids it was better safe than sorry." Rimmer nodded. "Well... sorry." Crystal said with a grin.

"Oh darling, that's wonderful!" Rimmer gasped, pulling her into his arms and swinging her around in a circle. Crystal laughed.

"Let go of me, you gimp!" she giggled, and Rimmer did so before kissing her.

"I love you Crystal." he said, taking both her hands in his.  
"I love you too Arnold." she replied, leaning up to give him another kiss. "Hey, maybe it'll be a boy this time, and we could call him Arnold Junior."

"AJ for short." Rimmer pondered. "I like it. But what about another girl's name just in case? Maybe something unusual... I know! Kacey!"

"Casey? That's a boy's name."

"No no, K-A-C-E-Y. _That's_ a girl's name. My brother John once dated a girl named Kacey."

"It's definitely unusual, without being embarrassing. It's wonderful."

"What about middle names? I'm not giving Arnold Junior a smeggy middle name like Judas." Rimmer said.

"Fair enough. What about David? It would make Lister happy." Crystal suggested.

"If you'd said that to me sixteen years ago, I would've said no chance in hell." Rimmer laughed. "But now I think it's perfect. What about the girl? Something that fits well with the name Kacey."

"Hmm... I've always liked the name Jessica." Crystal said. "My sister was called Jessica."

"Yes, that's lovely. We'll see what happens when nine months is up." Rimmer said, smiling. "Then we'll find out if it's an Arnold David or a Kacey Jessica in there."

They kissed again, underneath the starlit skies, and knew their lives were almost perfect.

Almost...

"Muuum! Daaad! Jim and Bexley stole my hair straighteners again!" Hannah yelled.

"No we didn't!" chorused the identical voices of Jim and Bexley.

"I was right, you know." Rimmer said to Crystal.

"Huh?"

"Back when Hannah was born, I said we wouldn't get a moment's peace from then on. And I was right."

"You certainly were right, love." Crystal smiled. "Jim! Bexley! Give Hannah her straighteners back this instant!" she yelled as she stormed out of the observation dome, followed by Rimmer, who was trying his hardest not to laugh.

**Another story comes to a happy ending... the smeg it does! I have a sequel planned! Review please!**


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